Santa Launches Plans to Hire Laid Off Virgin Orbit Staff
It’s official – Virgin Orbit has announced that 85% of its staff will be let go due to a lack of funding to keep the company afloat. But fear not, as the jolly old man himself, Santa Claus, has stepped in with a job proposition.
In an effort to ensure that Christmas 2021 is not affected, Father Christmas has decided to create his own rocket team to transport presents across the globe. And who better to hire than the talented workers from Virgin Orbit?
Sources close to the North Pole have disclosed that the recruitment process has been rigorous. All former Virgin Orbit staff must dress in red and white suits and show a willingness to travel far distances. Those who also possess a passion for cookies and milk will be given special consideration.
In an interview with our correspondent, a former Virgin Orbit worker who preferred to be called “Jingle Belle” said, “I was devastated when I heard the news, but then Santa reached out to me and it was a game-changer. I’ve always wanted to travel and I think I have the skills needed to make sure every child gets their presents on time.”
Santa Claus himself has assured the public that they need not worry about the safety of their gifts. “We’re not just stuffing presents in the back of a sleigh anymore. We have top-of-the-line rockets and have hired some of the most talented engineers out there. Christmas will be bigger and better than ever before!”
So while Virgin Orbit may no longer be blasting off into space, their talented staff have a bright new future ahead of them. And as for Santa Claus, looks like he’s finally upgrading from his reindeers!
