In a shocking turn of events, the Department for Education has commissioned a top-secret study that has yet to be publicly released. According to sources, the study delves into the highly controversial topic of whether or not toilet paper should be hung over or under the roll.
That’s right, folks. The fate of the nation’s toilet paper etiquette is in the hands of these researchers. And while we may never know the full extent of their findings, we do have some insider information on the names involved in the research.
Leading the charge is none other than Professor Poopypants. Yes, you read that right. Professor Poopypants is apparently a highly respected authority when it comes to the way we wipe our bums. Joining him is Dr. Dingleberry, who holds a PhD in bathroom humor and is renowned for his groundbreaking work on fart acoustics.
Rumor has it that the study also involved a team of highly trained monkeys who were trained to hang toilet paper both over and under the roll. However, several of the monkeys reportedly ate the toilet paper and had to be taken out of the study.
Sources close to the Department for Education say that while there is no clear consensus on the over/under debate, the researchers did conclude that using wet wipes is vastly superior to dry toilet paper. We can only hope that this groundbreaking revelation leads to a happier, cleaner world for us all.
In the meantime, we eagerly await the release of the full study. Who knows what other groundbreaking insights into the world of bathroom etiquette it may hold? Stay tuned.
