In a strange twist of fate, Scotland has been chosen to substitute for Moscow in the new film adaptation of the popular video game. The reason? According to the film’s director, Scotland’s “abundance of grey” is the perfect stand-in for the Russian capital.
“We looked at a lot of locations for this film,” explained director Bob Johnson, “and we kept coming back to Scotland. We just couldn’t find a better fit for the gray, oppressive atmosphere of Moscow. Plus, the accents are kinda similar if you really think about it.”
The film stars Hollywood heartthrob Brad Lee as the lead character, a secret agent tasked with saving the world from a nefarious plot hatched by the evil organization known only as “The Syndicate”. Joining him on his mission are a cast of misfit characters, including wisecracking hacker “T-Bone” (played by comedian Steve Johnson), tough-as-nails Russian soldier “Ivan” (played by Scottish actor Ewan McTavish), and the obligatory love interest “Natalie” (played by up-and-coming starlet Lucy Smith).
Despite the initial confusion amongst locals when they saw Brad Lee strolling down the street in a battered fedora and leather jacket, the film crew were welcomed with open arms by the people of Scotland. Many even offered to lend their homes as locations for the film, citing it as their “patriotic duty”.
As for the film’s accuracy in portraying Moscow, Bob Johnson isn’t worried. “Look, it’s a movie based on a video game. We’re not exactly going for a documentary here. Besides, I’m pretty sure Russians like bagpipes, right?”
