In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that Frozen Thresholds are now contributing to our personal income tax burden. What do we mean by Frozen Thresholds, you ask? Well, it’s simple really- it’s the point at which you start paying taxes. And the fact that they’re frozen means that more and more people are finding themselves in a higher tax bracket. Yikes!
But fear not, dear citizens, for the state pension and benefits will be rising within the next few days. That’s right- more money in your pockets! Because let’s face it, who needs money for things like heating, electricity or food? Just take a picture of your new bank balance and let the likes on social media warm you up.
We caught up with Joe Schmoe, a struggling college grad who’s been living off of ramen noodles and hopes for a better future, to get his take on the situation. “This is insane. I can barely afford to pay rent as it is, and now they want me to fork over even more of my hard-earned cash? And let’s not forget the fact that the cost of living is constantly going up. It’s like they’re trying to turn me into a frozen threshold myself!”
Meanwhile, our beloved politicians seem to be living in a different world (no surprise there). One of them, let’s call her Sally Politician for the sake of anonymity, had this to say: “Oh, you silly peasants. You think a little thing like Frozen Thresholds will stop us from lining our pockets? Think again! Besides, why should we care about the common folk when we have our luxurious mansions to keep us warm?”
Well, Sally, we hope that cozy mansion of yours will provide some comfort when the rest of us are struggling to make ends meet. As for the rest of us, we’ll just have to warm ourselves with the thought of those higher state pension and benefits. Plus, who needs heat when you can just huddle together for warmth…right?
