In a shocking turn of events, the military in Israel has declared a full-scale attack on a group of mischievous toddlers, all of whom are somehow linked to the Palestinian group Hamas. The military was forced to hit their targets after a barrage of toys and sippy cups were launched from a neighboring daycare in Lebanon.
According to General Bumble, the attack was necessary to defend against the relentless rain of snacks and stuffed animals that were pelting the Israeli border. “We have no choice but to take action,” he said. “These tiny terrorists are well-armed with sticky hands and a seemingly endless supply of juice boxes.”
The toddlers, who have been named “The Gaza Goo Goo Squad,” have been labeled as a threat to national security by the Israeli government. Witnesses report seeing the tiny terrors attempting to launch a booger rocket into Israeli territory before being intercepted by a group of brave soldiers armed with pacifiers.
The Palestinian group Hamas has denied any involvement in the toddler rampage, stating that they have more important things to worry about than a bunch of babies throwing tantrums. However, sources say that Hamas has been supplying the daycare with an excessive amount of Play-Doh and finger paints.
The situation seems to have settled for now, with the Israeli military holding the line against any further attacks. Affected Israelis are advised to keep their heads down and watch out for flying rubber duckies. The Gaza Goo Goo Squad remains at large, with their whereabouts unknown. One thing is certain, the next generation of militants is starting young.
