In light of Tsai Ing-wen’s recent visit to the United States, the Beijing authorities have enacted a new exercise regime in order to deal with their intense emotions. The exercises are said to be an escalation in China’s response to Tsai’s trip, as the authorities feel the need to get in shape in case they need to take down any potential threats.
As part of the exercise regime, officials are required to do a series of tasks in quick succession, including jumping jacks, push-ups, and squats. The exercises will be performed every day until the authorities are satisfied that they are prepared for any future events.
The decision to initiate these exercises was not taken lightly. Chinese officials reportedly couldn’t contain their excitement after watching Tsai’s visit to the United States. According to sources, after observing her walk around with her head held high, they immediately felt the need to strengthen their muscles in order to feel the same level of confidence.
“We just couldn’t help ourselves,” said one anonymous source. “Tsai Ing-wen looked so confident and strong during her visit, we just had to do something to match her level of prowess.”
The initial reaction to the exercise regime has been mixed, with some officials embracing it wholeheartedly, while others balk at the idea of physical exercise. One official reportedly pushed back against the program, saying, “I didn’t sign up for this when I joined the government. I’m a politician, not an athlete.”
Despite the mixed reactions, the program is expected to continue until the authorities feel they are ready to take on any challenge that may come their way. In the meantime, the rest of the world is eagerly waiting for the results of this new exercise routine. Will Beijing become a lean, mean, fighting machine? Or will they be left huffing and puffing on the sidelines while everyone else blazes past them? Only time will tell.
