In a shocking twist of ratings fate, Fox News has reported a measly 13% viewership spike while MSNBC and CNN soared with 36% and 35% increases, respectively. What could be the cause of such a dramatic shift?
Some speculate that the recent rise in viewership on MSNBC and CNN is due to their hard-hitting journalism and dedication to reporting the facts. Others claim it’s simply because their anchors are just more attractive than the ones on Fox News.
But here at the Onion, we have a different theory. We believe that Fox News’ 13% increase is purely due to their heavy rotation of coverage on a particularly fascinating topic – the mating habits of dolphins.
Yes, you read that right. Fox News has apparently been running a series of specials on the romantic lives of these intelligent sea creatures, and it seems to be resonating with their viewers. In fact, sources say that their highest-rated segment of the week was titled “Dolphin Love: What We Can Learn From the Sea’s Most Passionate Creatures”.
We reached out to one of Fox News’ top executives for comment on this surprising turn of events. Unsurprisingly, they declined to comment on the dolphin programming, only stating that they were “pleased with the increase in viewership across the board”.
While we can’t say for certain whether or not dolphins are the key to Fox News’ success, we do know one thing – we won’t be tuning in to find out. We’ll stick with MSNBC and CNN’s coverage of actual news, thank you very much.
