Goodbye Light, My Old Foe
Studies have shown that light pollution is killing off insects and confusing bats, which might explain why we’ve seen an uptick in moths banging against windows and the recent surge in clueless bats flying into wind turbines. And it’s not just creepy crawlies that are suffering: the stars are getting harder to see, too.
Scientists predict that, as a result of this, darkness might soon become a luxury. But don’t worry, if you’re like me and already obsessed with the dark, you’re ahead of the curve. I’ve always been insomniac, and my love of darkness borders on a borderline fetish. My thick-curtained bedroom is like a bunker from the light, but my husband insists on filling every inch of our house with digital displays that glow like beacons. I’m like a sleep-deprived bat, flying blindly into walls.
I’m sure you’ve all experienced this too: the digital displays that bleed into your sleep like a stab wound. It’s like sleeping in the cockpit of a 747 (no, I’ve never done it, but it sounds appropriate). I’ve tried everything to block out the light, from rolled-up towels to Blu Tack, but I’m running out of ideas. I might have to resort to a Vantablack balaclava.
Historically, the dark hasn’t been associated with good things. Scripture and literature have upheld the virtues of light, from the Enlightenment to Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, where Juliet is compared to the sun. But evolutionarily, it makes sense: light has been crucial to our survival as a species, and fearing the dark was inherently rational due to the bad things that happen in an unlit world. To this day, women (and anyone else who isn’t a professional wrestler) feel uncomfortable walking in unlit areas.
So let’s embrace the darkness as the new luxury. I’m ready to hibernate like a bear in a burrow, my eyes adjusted to the pitch blackness. Come, join me in the dark side. We have cookies.
