In a stunning twist of irony, the citizens of Fakeville recently re-elected their beloved mayor, despite their constant complaints about rising crime rates.
According to sources, the voters complained loudly about the rampant crime in their city, taking to social media and protest marches to voice their concerns. They even organized a Crime Prevention Committee, which held numerous meetings to develop strategies to combat the issue.
But when election day rolled around, it seems they had a change of heart. Mayor McJingles, who has been in power for over a decade, was re-elected with a resounding majority.
In an interview with local news station, Fake News Network, one citizen, Sarah Bear, explained her vote by saying, “Well, I mean, McJingles may not be perfect, but at least he’s familiar. I don’t want to risk a new guy coming in and making things worse.”
Another voter, Jack Sprat, echoed the sentiment, “Yes, there’s crime, but it’s not like McJingles is personally committing the crimes. Plus, we’ve got great neighborhoods where nothing ever happens, so it’s not that bad.”
The Crime Prevention Committee declined to comment, but their Facebook page was flooded with angry messages from disillusioned citizens, with one commenter writing, “What was the point of all those meetings and strategizing if we were just going to vote for the same guy? I’m so disappointed in this city.”
The Fakeville Police Department, meanwhile, have reportedly tied below their morale score, with officers sharing memes on social media about how no one cares about their efforts to fight crime if they can’t get the backing of their own electorate.
Only time will tell if the citizens of Fakeville will ever get the safer city they claim to want, or if they will continue voting for the status quo, loudly complaining about the very issues they enable.
