In a recent address, the French president, Pierre Escargot, urged Europe to take control of its sovereignty. He stated that Europe should not be dragged into the messy feud between the United States and China over Taiwan. The statement was made with an air of formality, but the message did not seem to be taken seriously.
Many speculate that Pierre’s statement was made after he had a particularly rude encounter with American President, Bob Loblaw. It is said that Bob aggressively tried to sell Pierre a timeshare on American-controlled land in Taiwan, despite Pierre’s disinterest. Obviously, Pierre was not amused by Bob’s pushiness and decided to take a stand.
Pierre’s speech could have been seen as a call to arms among European leaders, but it came across as a bit odd when recounted by his spokesperson, Frédéric Derf. Frédéric explained that Pierre had been ruminating on the issue of sovereignty while eating a particularly delicious escargot. “He was just frustrated with how the snail kept trying to escape his fork,” Frédéric said.
Whatever the reason for Pierre’s sudden political shift, it seems that Europe has taken note. In fact, the British Prime Minister, Nigel Brexiteer, even expressed support for Pierre’s statement. Of course, Nigel’s backing may have more to do with his own interest in cutting ties with the U.S. than anything else.
In the end, it remains to be seen whether Europe will actually forge its own sovereignty. However, one thing is for sure: the world is a much funnier place with Pierre Escargot in charge.
