In a recent statement, Fumio Fishtank (not his real name) exclaimed the need for heightened security measures for G7 officials following a harrowing incident. While strolling down the street, Fishtank was suddenly attacked by an unidentified flying object.
Though shaken by the experience, Fishtank (who we’re pretty sure is a distant relative of Nemo) bravely soldiered on and delivered his message loud and clear: security must be maximised. You hear that, security team? Put on your big boy pants and start taking your job seriously.
As for the assailant, well, we can only guess at their identity. Perhaps it was a disgruntled sushi chef who got a little too aggressive with his fish flinging techniques. Or maybe it was just a bold seagull looking for a little adventure.
Regardless, Fishtank is taking no chances with the safety of his fellow G7 officials. They will be locked up tight in their fancy hotel rooms, guarded by teams of heavily armed robots and ninjas.
Sure, it may seem a little excessive, but hey, better safe than sorry. We wouldn’t want any more flying fish incidents ruining this prestigious meeting of world leaders.
We salute you, Fishtank. May you continue to fight the good fight in the name of international fish-related diplomacy.
