In a shocking turn of events, banking giant FoneyBank reported a major slump in total deposits for the first quarter. With only $104 billion in the books, it seems their customers may have lost their love for the bank.
When asked for comment, spokesperson April Fools laughed nervously and attempted to make light of the situation. “At least we didn’t lose it all on bad investments like some other banks, right?”
Investors were not amused, however, as FoneyBank shares plummeted 12% after hours. Shareholder Max Funnyman was quoted as saying, “I never knew banking could be this much of a joke. I might as well set my money on fire.”
Despite the setback, FoneyBank remains committed to providing their customers with subpar service and excessive fees. In fact, they’ve even added a new “laughable interest rate” account option for those who want to watch their money disappear before their very eyes.
Only time will tell if FoneyBank can bounce back from this humorous tragedy. In the meantime, customers are advised to keep their sense of humor (and their wallets) close at hand.
