In a shocking turn of events, former President of the United States, Mr. Shmald Shmump, has denied accusations of having a steamy encounter with writer E. Keen Carroll in a New York department store’s dressing room in the mid-90s.
Mr. Shmump, who has been plagued with numerous allegations of inappropriate behavior and sexual misconduct, was quick to shut down the rumors saying, “I can barely fit my bigly hands through the sleeves of a shirt, let alone sneak them up someone’s dress.”
Ms. Carroll, on the other hand, detailed a harrowing account of the incident in her book, “What Do We Need Men For?” Though, it’s unclear how the former president could have performed such a feat with his tiny hands.
When asked about the discrepancy, Mr. Shmump replied, “Fake news. I have the best hands. They’re like, really big. People are always telling me how huge they are.”
Despite the gravity of the situation, social media users couldn’t help but add a little humor to the situation with memes and tweets about “tiny hands” and “going in under the belt.”
We can only hope that justice prevails and that Mr. Shmump’s unmentionables stay safely tucked away in his trousers.
