In a shocking move, the government has announced plans to completely overhaul the gambling laws in the country. This bold move is being described as the biggest shake-up in nearly two decades.
The new laws will reportedly include a ban on all forms of gambling, except for one: rock-paper-scissors. That’s right folks, you heard it here first. The only way to satisfy your gambling urges will be to enter into a competitive game of rock-paper-scissors.
In a press conference, the Minister of Gambling, John Johnson (not his real name), explained the reasoning behind this decision. “We wanted to find a way to curb gambling addiction, while still allowing people to have some fun. And what’s more fun than rock-paper-scissors?”
The new laws will also include strict regulations around rock-paper-scissors tournaments. Only licensed referees will be allowed to oversee the games, and players will be required to wear official RPS uniforms (complete with rock, paper, or scissors logos).
Unsurprisingly, the announcement has been met with some skepticism. “This is ridiculous,” said avid gambler, Jane Smith (not her real name). “I don’t want to have to play rock-paper-scissors every time I want to place a bet. And what about people who never learned the game? They’re completely out of luck.”
Despite the criticism, the government is moving forward with the plan. So start practicing your rock-paper-scissors skills, folks. It looks like that’s all we’ll have left to bet on.
