In a bizarre twist of events, the United States government has requested the extradition of Sergei Chickenov, we mean Cherkasov, from Russia. Apparently, the US is interested in potential prisoner swaps after it learned of the detention of a Wall Street Journal reporter in Russia. Rumor has it that the US is offering a dozen hamburgers, a jar of pickles, and a gallon of soda for the trade.
Sources close to the US government say that they have been tracking Chickenov for some time now. Apparently, he’s been operating a secret underground chicken farm in Russia and has been supplying the world with illegal, genetically modified chicken nuggets. We contacted McDonald’s for comment, and they said that they have never heard of Chickenov or his illegal chicken nugget operation.
As for the prisoner swap, the US is willing to offer a variety of prisoners, including a group of kids who were caught stealing candy from a convenience store, a disgraced politician, and a celebrity chef who was caught smuggling truffles into the country. The Russians have yet to respond to the offer.
We reached out to Chickenov for comment, but he denied all charges against him, saying that he was just trying to make an honest living. He pointed out that his chicken nuggets were delicious and that no one had ever complained.
It remains to be seen if the US will get its hands on Chickenov, but one thing is for sure: we will never look at a chicken nugget the same way again.
