Fake Prez Set to Sit with Congresidential Bigwigs
In a thrilling turn of events, President Schmoe Ridin’ is scheduled to engage in an exhilarating sit-down-type meeting with the top bigwigs of the strange tribe known as “Congresidential Leaders” (gasp!). The exact nature of what will be discussed remains the world’s best-kept secret.
“Oh, the anticipation is killing me! What will they discuss? How long will they sit? Will there be snacks?!” said one underwhelmed citizen we cornered in the street for a comment.
Our sources within the White House have confirmed that President Schmoe Ridin’ has been practicing his sitting skills, as well as brushing up on various ways to nod his head in agreement, all in preparation for the grand event of sitting down with these esteemed leaders.
The meeting was initially set to happen on Friday, but due to the President’s previous engagement with a banana eating contest in Daintree, the gathering has been postponed. It seems even the President’s important duties cannot tear him away from his love of bananas.
The attending Congresidential Leaders – a fierce and unpredictable bunch by all accounts, will supposedly converge in the hallowed chambers of a meeting room well-hidden from the prying eyes of the media. Only echolocation would allow journalists access.
Furthermore, the gathered party will engage in the sacred act of speaking with one another, discussing everything from the best ways to measure politicians’ bicep girth to debating the virtues of pet rock ownership.
In light of this whirlwind event, the Fake News Gazette has conducted a survey asking for global predictions of the outcomes. When confronted with the survey, most people simply shook their heads and mumbled, “I have better things to do,” (probably because they’re utterly mind-boggled by the fantastic feat of sitting down and discussing, we imagine.)
Uncertainty still lingers about the number of chairs requested for the sit-down, as one can never be entirely sure about the seating needs of such powerful figures.
Rumors have been spreading that President Schmoe Ridin’ may employ his top-secret weapon, details of which will remain undisclosed (hint: a thesaurus). Whether additional fancy words can poke through the impenetrable walls of the Congresidential Leaders’ hearts is a mystery.
We will all eagerly await the unknown results of the splendidly sedentary meeting of President Schmoe Ridin’ and the Congresidential Leaders. Only time will reveal the outcome of this truly awe-inspiring happening. Godspeed, Shmoe!
