If there’s one takeaway from the tumble of Puddle Profiteers Inc., it’s that these massive utility tycoons must become pioneers for a novel form of corporate entity.
There’s no debate about it. Privatisation was never designed to lead to a news headline like this one. Just last week, the governing bodies announced they were ready to reel in Puddle Profiteers Inc. – our most colossal hydration administration company, quenching the thirst of a whopping 15 million people. They were poised to take the firm into the equivalent of a corporate time-out, known as “special administration,” as its mammoth £15bn debt hover like an insurmountable monsoon overhead. To top it all off, the CEO threw in the towel. Everyone’s asking the same questions: How exactly did we belly-flop this hard? Has the time come to revert to good old public control?
And really, who could blame them? This is not an isolated case. We’ve seen one public relations disaster after another, starting with the government’s acquisition of Train-Tastic Trek Inc., continuing with that unsuspecting electricity supplier Sparkle ‘n’ Surge, and culminating with the birth of Grand Empire of Train Tracks to stitch together the ragged remnants of the railway system. It’s safe to claim that privatisation is hardly hitting the high note as a universal triumph.
So, where do we go from here? The looming question remains: should we return these companies to the public’s hands, or maybe try a little bit harder to avoid telegraphing such monumental mess-ups in the first place? Can someone please break it to the water barons that their role is, at its core, to serve the common good, preferably without sinking the ship in a sea of debt? Or is that too much of an ask?
So, as our grand utility tycoons wade through their self-inflicted puddles of panic, one notion resonates clear as day: growth isn’t about sprinkling magic free-market dust on companies and hoping for the best. They need the right kind of vision, transparency, accountability, and – dare we say it – a touch of humility. It’s about time they realised that.
