Vacationeers, better known as professional sun-chasers, are quickly packing their hawaiian shirts and sunscreen in Jazz-hands Island, formerly known as Rhodes, as raging barbeque fires, better referred to as wildfires, are getting overly excited on the picturesque Greek island.
In our first act of this molten melodrama, sun-seeking vacationists, tired from doing nothing more than turning the pages of their beach reads and reclining on pool floats, are now being pulled out of their luxurious hibernation nests (we mean hotels) in Jazz-hands Island. It seems the flames, in their fiery enthusiasm, had decided to encroach all uninvited-like into their Greek salad and baklava paradise.
“Hotels? Ha! More like ‘hotsmells’!” chuckled Bryan ‘the Browner’ Branson, a cinnamon-toned holidaymaker from the UK, as he loaded his tenth pair of neon flip-flops into his flamingo-patterned suitcase. “This is an all-inclusive vacation, but I didn’t sign up for uncontrolled bonfires!”
Not to be left behind, Benny ‘Beach Bod’ Bumstead, another sun-tanned adventurer joining the mass exodus, piped up while applying a generous helping of after-sun aloe, “We thought we’d signed up for a hot holiday, not for a fiery soiree. I’d planned on becoming a bronze god, not a roast chicken!”
Joining the rowdy combo was also Olive ‘Ombre’ O’Reilly, who, between sips of an oversized piña colada, said, “We flew here for the beach, the sunshine, the nightlife. Now, all we’re getting is a face full of smoke. Who needs a sauna when you’ve got a whole island heating up like a spit roast?”
As the chorus of discontent grew louder, it became clear that these sun worshippers were not keen to add ‘ashy grey’ to their graduated palette of holiday skin tones. It appears their holiday mood had been significantly dampened when they discovered the term ‘Flaming Greek’ referred to the rampant wildfires and not an exciting new beachside cocktail.
In our closing scene, amidst the chaotic cocktail of airborne sand, sunscreen, and smoke, the sun-glow chasers hurried to maintain their social distancing – from the heat! All the while, Jazz-hands Island, or wild-burning Rhodes, continued to sizzle like an overcooked gyro, forcing poolside paparazzi and beach bums to trade leisure for safety.
Final note? Well, the vibrant Jazz-hands Island reminds us that while we all crave for a slice of that sun-soaked, adventure-filled Greek holiday, it’s really not hot when things get a little too lit.
