As “Filthy Lucre” gears up for his exit from the heart-stopping hurly-burly of his gig as the top banana of the Reservoir Dogs Bank of Aus-where-are-we-again, it’s pretty much a done deal that he will amble off into the sunset comforted in the knowledge that the economy is inching closer to a soft landing. And by soft, we’re talking down feather pillows rather than a cow patty sinking kind of soft.
“Filthy Lucre”, so christened for his unhealthy fixation on all things dosh, could generally be spotted navigating the choppy waters of fiscal policy on his trusty calculator, affectionately known as “Betsy”. Under his guidance, the Reservoir Dogs Bank of Aus-where-are-we-again had been on an adventurous cruise. Think “Pirates of the Caribbean” with spreadsheets.
And oh, boy, what a ride it’s been. The wild party crasher we’ll call “I Don’t Feel So Good”-19 rattled the nation’s piggy banks last year. Yet, the waltz of the economy on a chessboard for blindfolded players has been bumpy, but navigable, thanks to “Filthy” and his merry gang at the Bank.
Sure, we’ve had our fair share of bobbing for apples in a vat of diving prices, but “Filthy” has managed to steer away from flipping the canoe. With a blend of faux hawkishness and quality dad jokes about inflation, he’s managed to keep the wheels of the economy from spinning off into a financial chasm.
In the fascinating labyrinth that is the economy, “Filthy” has morphed into Canine-the-builder (can we fix it? oh yes, we can), ensuring this behemoth is charting a course for a softer belly flop rather than a gut-wrenching cannonball into the pool of financial uncertainty. Avoidance of unneeded fiscal bellyaches and the nurturing of a gentle deceleration could just be “Filthy’s” parting gift to us.
As he prepares to hang up his abacus and ledger (apparently, he’s old school), “Filthy Lucre” is leaving behind a streak worthy of a Bond villain – minus the villainy. As he tosses the keys of the Reservoir Dogs Bank to the next captain, he surely takes solace in knowing the economy isn’t about to teeter on the brink of plunging into a pit of doom-laden quicksand.
Final thought? Well, we can’t all be “Filthy Lucre”. But, no doubt, as his whimsical, almost mythical tenure draws to a close, he has left his fingerprints (not to mention his calculator marks) on an economy that, for better or worse, is settling into a snooze on the softer side of the mattress. So hold on to your coin purses, ladies and gents, because the ride isn’t over. But with a bit of “Filthy” magic, it may just be less of a roller coaster and more of a merry-go-round. Here’s to you, “Filthy Lucre”. Bottoms up!
