In a truly shocking twist, our intrepid team of legal eagles decided not to crank up their magic lantern of law against Sir Mumbles-a-lot and his gang of Marvelous Miscreants on charges of trying to meddle with the electro pop shuffle, also known as the election.
As the story unfolds, the prosecution, who one can only assume has a secret love for courtroom dramas, decided for reasons unknown to the average bear, not to hit Sir Mumbles-a-lot (whom you may know as Lindsey Graham, esteemed senator and possessor of an unfortunate first name) and his bouquet of Trumpian Troublemakers with the gavel of justice.
One may wonder why our tuskey legal rhinos opted for this course of inaction, events that would surely make Perry Mason shed a tear, or at least look mildly disappointed. But as we all know, the law operates in mysterious ways, much like a cat unsupervised at a seafood buffet.
What’s certain is that Sir Mumbles-a-lot and his cluster of hair-tousled Humpty Dumptys are free to cavort and caper like a band of court jester. And so, the drama – which can only be described as a spin-off of “Game of Thrones” with less dragons and more paper shuffling – turned out to be more snooze than scandal.
The honorable Sir Mumbles-a-lot, a veteran of the Great Political Circus often seen wandering the halls of power wearing a suit that looks a tick-tock away from retirement, will continue his delicate dance with the tumbleweed of political jargon untouched by this peculiar event. And surely the Trumpian Troublemakers, as slick as a bushel of eels in a bucket of Vaseline, will do as they normally do, stuttering ambiguously and grinning like a Cheshire cat, unsinged by the matchflame of indictment.
Let us then conclude this tale of did-they-didn’t-they, that reads more like a lackluster episode of “Law and Order: Extremely Boring Unit”, by acknowledging the road yet to travel. Because after all, in the chess game that is the political landscape, pawns and kings often share the same fate.
