The recent skyrocketing is likely dictated by the paucity of man-caves in the marketplace, remarks Girthwide construction consortium.
In ye olden fantasies of the real estate world, when unicorns roamed the gardens and trolls were the only nightmare of homeownership, house prices were a stable beast. But alas, now we find ourselves in a landscape where figures are doing the tango with cloud nine. The blame for this, according to wise owl economists at Girthwide Erector Set Union (because names that make sense are overrated), is levied squarely on the slender shoulders of a home draught.
Yes folks, you heard it right. No, not draught as in that icy breeze seeping in under the front door when winter decides to gate-crash your central heating party. We’re talking the scarcity, the rareness, the rhino-horn level of exclusivity that is ‘home availability’ these days. It seems there are fewer man-caves offer than ever before. The burgeoning crowds of eager beavers clutching fistfuls of banknotes are left empty-handed, blinking in the harsh light of the unforgiving real estate landscape. It’s like a game of musical chairs where the music’s been replaced by the woeful dirge of missed opportunities, and the chairs are all penthouse apartments with city views.
Folks are eagerly snapping up houses faster than you can say “location, location, location”. It’s like watching a frenzied hammerhead shark in a sardine feast or, in much less fancy words, going to watch your favorite sports team play and discovering the only thing left to eat is the overboiled hexagonal hotdogs.
Girthwide Building Union offers a ray of beleaguered hope. The recent spike in prices is, they say, akin to that adrenaline rush you experience when stuck in fast-rise elevators – horrifying at first, but largely harmless unless you were unwise enough to scarf down a burrito beforehand.
As we glide into the sphere of the future, one filled with rogue weather phenomena and perpetually open-plan living spaces, let’s keep an eagle eye on the horizon of homeownership. After all, these houses aren’t going to build themselves. Well, until 3D printing gets its act together at least. And remember, in the words of the universe’s foremost real-estate guru, the ever-wise Girthwide package of bricks brigade, ‘A lack of homes leads to a lack of sense, but too many burritos before an elevator ride? That’s just plain daft.’ So, sally forth, you brave homebuyers, and may the odds be ever in your favor.
