Apples – they’re crunchy, delicious, keep the doctor away (allegedly), and lend their name to a tech giant. This versatility makes them a fantastic subject for jokes! Whether you’re thinking of the fruit or the phone, apples provide endless comedic possibilities. Get ready to shake with laughter to your very core with this collection of apple jokes.
Some Quick Apple Jokes
Need a quick laugh? These bite-sized apple jokes are perfect for sharing:
- Why did the apple pie go to the dentist?
Because it needed a filling. - When is an apple grouchy?
When it’s a crab apple. - What kind of apple isn’t an apple?
A pineapple. - What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm. - Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road?
It ran out of juice. - How do you make an apple turnover?
Roll it down a hill. - What do you get when you drop a smartphone into a deep fryer?
An Apple fritter. - Who makes the best apple pies in the family?
Granny Smith. - What did the apple tree say to the hungry caterpillar?
Leaf me alone. - What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do?
It can look round. - What does a gym instructor say to an apple?
You have to strengthen your core. - What did the apple husband say to his wife?
You’re the apple of my eye. - What do you call a person who saw an apple store getting robbed?
An iWitness.
A Bushel of Puns and Longer Laughs
Ready for some more elaborate apple humor? These puns and short stories are ripe for the picking:
- Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?
Apple on the door but it won’t open. - A core belief is that apple puns are funny.
- Why should you hire an apple pie?
They are crustworthy. - An apple a day keeps the doctor away. I mean, do you know how much an iPhone AND medical insurance costs?
- The Engineer’s Secret: A doctor and an engineer are in love with the same girl. Every day, the doctor gives the girl one rose and the engineer gives the girl one apple. One day, the girl asks the engineer why he gives her apples when the doctor is giving her roses. “Because,” says the engineer, “an apple a day keeps the doctor away.”
- Biker Trouble: A middle-aged man was sitting at a truck stop when three mean-looking bikers walked in. The first walked over to the man and stubbed a cigarette out in his apple pie. Then the second biker spat in the apple pie. Finally, the third biker picked up the apple pie and threw it on the floor. Without saying a word, the man got up and left. “He wasn’t much of a man, was he?” sneered one of the bikers to the waitress. “Not much of a truck driver, either,” she said. “He just backed his truck over 3 motorcycles.”
We hope these jokes a-peel to your sense of humor! Share them with friends and family for some apple-lause.
