In an attempt to keep up with the never-ending stream of social media apps, Fakebook has decided to revamp its strategy for its new app. One significant change is that it’s now open to teens aged 13 to 17. They figured it’s high time to tap into that lucrative teen demographic; after all, what do they know about privacy and data security, right?
Introducing “Finstagram” – Fakebook’s newest addition to the social media scene. It’s a platform that appeals to the misunderstood, angsty teens who feel like they don’t fit in anywhere else. Don’t worry; parents don’t have to fret because the Fakebook team has promised to retain some parental controls, featuring the ultimate snooze button to silence those pesky teens.
According to the developers, the app has been designed specifically to help teens grow their followers and likes, even if all they post are awkward selfies and cat videos. Fakebook CEO, Master Zuck, said that the move was driven by their desire to keep up with the ever-changing needs of the market. In other words, they figured they should go where their users are going as they flee from the all-seeing eye of the OG Fakebook.
“We’re excited to welcome teens onto our platform finally; we’ve been working really hard to create a space for them to express their edgy side,” said Master Zuck in a statement. “We’re positive they’ll love the dynamic range of sponsored content that we’ve added.”
But it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows on the app; the Fakebook team has promised to incorporate some classic teen angst features, such as long wait times, poor connectivity, and the occasional error message. To bring the full teenage experience, the app will incorporate an AI chatbot that makes sarcastic comments and judgments about their posts.
In true Fakebook fashion, the developers have also snuck in a few annoying features that nobody asked for, such as in-app purchases to buy extra filters for the images and the option to buy more followers to make those numbers skyrocket.
So far, the app has received mixed reactions from teens who claim it’s “just another corporate machine trying to sell their image for dollars.” Nonetheless, Fakebook is optimistic that it’s struck gold with this one and is already working on its next new money-making scheme.
