Introducing the all-new Air-Head Airlines – the air travel experience you never knew you needed! Our promising slogan is “Generational Change through Pain”, because we like to set the bar high (or low, depending on how you look at it).
We’re excited to offer a flight experience that will change the world, one bellyache at a time. Our CEO, Sir Suffering Stanley, made it clear that for this to work, there must be pain first. And who doesn’t love a little bit of pain before a flight?
Here’s a taste of what you can expect when you choose Air-Head Airlines:
First-class passengers will be given a complimentary “pain meter” to track their discomfort levels throughout the flight. With our state-of-the-art seats that are specially designed to pinch your back, your buttocks and your toes, you’ll be able to keep score of just how much pain you’re in.
Our economy class passengers will also be in for a treat. We have made the decision to remove seats altogether, giving our passengers even more room to stretch their aching legs. And forget about in-flight entertainment – we’ve replaced those pesky screens with a live band that will play exclusively sad songs for the duration of the flight.
But wait, there’s more! We’re excited to offer our passengers a chance to experience the pain of a lifetime with our newest specialty service – the turbulence ride. That’s right, we’ve designed a special feature that simulates turbulence throughout the entire flight, just to give you that little extra kick of pain.
So come fly with us and experience “Generational Change through Pain” – we promise you won’t regret it (or maybe you will, but hey – we warned you!) Book now before the painless competition gets to our idea first!
