In a recent press conference, the CEO of FauxWay Airlines, Bob McFake, announced their newest initiative – “generational” change in air travel. “We’re not just talking about incremental improvements here,” McFake declared with confidence. “We’re talking about a complete overhaul of the air travel experience that will benefit future generations for years to come.”
Sounds promising, right? Well, here comes the catch – McFake also made it clear that before this change can happen, there must be “pain” first. Wait, what?
“We understand that change is difficult,” McFake explained. “But in order to create a better future, we must first suffer. And by suffer, I mean we’re going to make your flight experiences unbearable for a little while.”
The audience at the press conference was understandably confused. One reporter asked, “So…what exactly do you mean by ‘unbearable’?”
McFake grinned. “Well, for starters, we’re going to replace all of our seat cushions with piles of rocks. We’re also going to be installing live chickens in the overhead compartments, so if you thought the screaming baby was bad, just wait until you hear a rooster crowing for three hours straight.”
There were audible gasps from the crowd. “But…why?” another reporter asked incredulously.
“To build character!” McFake exclaimed. “We want passengers to appreciate the magnificence of air travel in the future. And what better way to do that than to make them suffer through some truly awful flights?”
While some people in the audience were skeptical, McFake remained upbeat. “Once we’ve endured this pain, we’ll emerge stronger and better than ever before. We’ll have to suffer through a few years of misery, but think of the rewards – comfortable seats, quality food, and friendly flight attendants. It’ll all be worth it.”
As the conference came to a close, McFake left the stage to the sound of confused applause. The future of air travel may be uncertain, but one thing is clear – there will be some serious pain along the way.
