Former Blarney Motormouth, Simon McSimons, got his pants in a twist during a recent inquisition regarding his alleged fibbing to Parliament. Despite being repeatedly prodded on the stand, McSimons maintained that he did not deliberately deceive the esteemed members of government.
“I swear on my granny’s dentures, I was not telling porky pies!” exclaimed McSimons.
However, the court proceedings quickly turned into a marathon, as McSimons couldn’t seem to give a straight answer to any of the questions thrown his way. Mumbling and stuttering, he tried to dodge accusations left and right.
“If I had a nickel for every time McSimons said ‘um’ or ‘uh,’ I could retire on a beach in the Maldives,” quipped one exasperated parliamentarian.
To make matters worse, McSimons accidentally let slip a few questionable comments that he later tried to retract.
“I mean, if you really think about it, the sky is technically green…wait, no, I meant blue! Definitely blue!” babbled McSimons.
The entire scene was quite the spectacle, leaving everyone in attendance scratching their heads and stifling giggles. In the end, it seems that McSimons’ credibility has taken a bit of a hit, with many speculating that he might have had his fingers crossed behind his back during his original statement.
We’ll leave it up to the court of public opinion to decide whether McSimons is actually a liar or just a very confused man who happens to love the sound of his own voice.
