In a stunning press conference today, General Jimothy McFlufferson proudly proclaimed that his army of stuffed animals won’t stop fighting against their toy box opponents, no matter how many buttons they have to sew back on.
“Make no mistake,” McFlufferson growled in his most intimidating teddy bear voice. “We will not back down. We will not give up. We will fight until the last stitch is sewn.”
While many were skeptical of the General’s determination, his battalion of bears, bunnies and unicorns were seen sharpening their claws and fluffing their fur in preparation for battle.
“We are fierce,” declared Private Tickles, gripping his plastic sword tightly in his paw. “We may be stuffed, but we are not softies. We will defend our territory, even if it means getting a little stuffing knocked out.”
The opposition, made up primarily of action figures and plastic army men, released a statement calling the General’s threats “ridiculous” and “fluffy.”
“We have already defeated him once before,” said Sergeant Sarge, leader of the opposing faction. “We have the guns, we have the firepower, and we have the will to win. The stuffed animals may have soft bellies, but they also have soft heads.”
As tensions between the two toy armies continue to escalate, parents everywhere are bracing themselves for a battle that may require some serious repairs to beloved playthings.
