In a stunning revelation, the National Infrastructure Commission has called out the government’s handling of major projects, labeling it as completely “off track”.
According to the Commission’s spokesperson, Bob McBob, the government’s approach to infrastructure is like a train hurtling off the rails – and it’s causing major delays for everyone involved.
“We’ve seen some pretty ridiculous decisions being made,” said McBob. “It’s like they’re trying to build a rollercoaster instead of a functional transportation system. I mean, have they even looked at a map?”
The Commission cited many examples of government projects gone wrong – including the infamous “Bridge to Nowhere” in Santa Claus Village, which ended up being a bridge to a small island inhabited by penguins.
“They spent millions of dollars on a bridge that leads to a bunch of birds,” said McBob. “It’s absolute insanity.”
Other projects deemed as “off track” by the Commission included a proposed underwater highway in Pork City, a monorail system that goes in circles in Candyland, and a space elevator that only goes up halfway before plummeting back to earth.
“It’s like they’re playing with expensive toys,” said McBob. “We need to get them back on track before they do any more damage.”
The government could not be reached for comment – presumably because they were busy trying to get a double-decker bus to fly.
