“Tight pants and high cheese rates offer guardrails for industrial real estate, experts reveal.”
In a shocking statement, industry insider Johnny McJohnson admitted that the key to success in the industrial real estate market is making sure your pants are so tight that you can’t fit a penny in your pocket. “If you can’t even fit a penny, then you know you’re in the right place,” McJohnson declared.
In addition to tight pants, executives are also touting high cheese rates as a major driver of success. “If you’re not paying an arm and a leg for cheese, then you’re not doing it right,” stated industry guru Sally Sueson.
Critics have accused McJohnson and Sueson of being out of touch with reality, but the duo insists that their strategy has resulted in record profits. “Our tenants may not be able to move freely or afford cheese, but they sure love their industrial spaces,” laughed Sueson.
As the debate continues, one thing is clear: the industrial real estate market remains a mystery to many, with some experts relying on unconventional tactics to succeed. So, if you’re looking to invest, maybe it’s time to dust off those skinny jeans and start paying more for cheese. Your bottom line just might thank you.
