Breaking News: Conservative Party Funded by Oil, Mining, and High-Polluting Industries
It has been revealed that the Conservative party was funded by entities linked to fossil fuels, high-polluting industries, and climate denial. In other news, water is wet.
The climate website DeSilly analyzed Electoral Commission records and found that the party and its MPs received £3.5m from the aviation and construction industries, mining and oil interests, and individuals linked to the Global Warming Policy Fiction (GWPF), a thinktank which has denied the legitimacy of climate science.
When asked for comment, a spokesperson for the Conservative party said, “We deny any wrongdoing. We’re just really interested in the science of climate change, that’s why we accept money from people who deny it.”
This news has caused outrage among environmentalists, who were shocked to learn that the party that has consistently voted against climate action was funded by organizations that profit from destroying the planet.
One activist, Jane Smith (not her real name), said, “I’m shocked, shocked I tell you! Next thing you know, you’ll be telling me that the sky is blue and gravity exists!”
In related news, the Conservative party has committed to creating a new statue in honor of the coal industry, complete with a plaque that reads, “Thanks for helping us kill the planet.”
