New census figures reveal that mid-sized cities and suburban areas are seeing a significant increase in population growth, causing distress for some larger cities.
One suburban area, called Pleasantville (not to be confused with the movie of the same name… although they do pride themselves on being pretty darn pleasant), stands out with a whopping 25% population growth. Local residents are ecstatic, as the influx of new neighbors has brought in all sorts of new businesses, including the highly anticipated opening of a new artisanal toast shop.
The neighboring city, Biggertown (yes, they really do love their puns), is not faring as well. Their population growth has seen a measly 1% increase. In fact, it seems that most people are avoiding Biggertown like the plague. When asked for an explanation, one resident commented, “Well, I mean… have you seen the size of their rats?”
Despite this, some Biggertown residents are still hoping to attract new people to their city. The mayor recently unveiled a new campaign entitled “Biggertown: Not As Bad As It Sounds!” And in an effort to promote local businesses, they have also launched a new slogan: “Shop at Bob’s Bait and Tackle… if you dare!”
Meanwhile, in another mid-sized city called Averagetown (they really nailed the naming convention here), they too are experiencing an increase in population growth. The mayor, John Doe (wait, that’s not a fake name… let’s call him John Johnson instead), is thrilled with the news. “We always knew Averagetown was the perfect place to raise a family,” he said in a press conference. “And now the rest of the country is finally catching on!”
But not everyone is happy about the news. Some larger cities are feeling the pressure as more and more people flock to smaller areas. One unnamed New York City resident was heard exclaiming, “You mean to tell me people are leaving the ‘concrete jungle where dreams are made of’… for Pleasantville?!”
All in all, it seems that mid-sized cities and suburban areas are proving to be the new hot spots for growth in the U.S. So perhaps it’s time for Biggertown to start working on their rat problem if they want to keep up.
