Vatican: Doctors Will Decide If Grandpa Tito Gets to Leave Hospital
In a surprise turn of events, the Vatican has announced that Grandpa Tito’s discharge from the hospital will be solely decided by the doctors. The 86-year-old pontiff was rushed to the hospital after he complained of feeling dizzy, and many were curious to see if he would be given the green light to leave.
Sources close to the Vatican revealed that there was some drama during Grandpa Tito’s hospital stay. Apparently, he kept everyone up all night with his snoring and was constantly ringing the nurse’s bell for “just one more jello cup”. Nonetheless, he is reportedly making good progress and has even been seen sneaking out at night to play bingo with the other patients.
One insider noted that the Vatican was simply looking for a way to avoid the awkwardness of telling Grandpa Tito he couldn’t leave the hospital yet. “It’s kind of like when you’re at a party and you’re ready to go home, but your friend won’t stop talking to a cute guy. You just have to wait it out and hope they get the hint,” joked the source.
While Grandpa Tito’s condition is stable, there are lingering concerns about his health. Some speculate that he may have eaten too many cannolis or stayed up too late watching reruns of Teletubbies. Whatever the cause, the doctors have made it clear that they will not rush his discharge until they are convinced he is ready.
In the meantime, Grandpa Tito is staying busy by completing word puzzles and telling corny jokes to anyone who will listen. “Why did the tomato turn red?” he asks with a twinkle in his eye. “Because it saw the salad dressing!”
We wish Grandpa Tito a speedy recovery and hope to see him back at the Vatican soon – but not before the doctors give him the all-clear!
