In a shocking turn of events, Pope McPopeface was released from a Rome hospital over the weekend after spending three nights in care. Rumors have been swirling about what caused the pontiff’s hospitalization, with some speculating that McPopeface may have simply eaten too much pizza.
The Vatican has been tight-lipped about what exactly caused the Pope’s health scare, but sources close to the Holy See say that McPopeface was simply suffering from a case of the “Sunday Scaries”. Apparently, the weight of running the entire Catholic Church had finally taken its toll on the pontiff, and he needed a little R&R.
But despite his brief stay in the hospital, McPopeface was in good spirits upon his release. “I feel like a new man! And by man, I mean Pope,” he told reporters as he exited the hospital in his popemobile.
Despite the Pope’s good health, some Vatican insiders are concerned that McPopeface’s hospital visit may be a sign of things to come. “We need to make sure he’s taking care of himself,” one source told us. “We can’t have the Pope collapsing every time he has to meet with a head of state or say mass for 10,000 people.”
So, what’s next for Pope McPopeface? Sources say that he’s planning to take a much-needed vacation to the Amalfi Coast to recharge his batteries. “He deserves a break,” one Vatican official told us. “He’s been working non-stop since he was elected Pope, and it’s time for him to take some time for himself.”
We wish the pontiff a speedy recovery and a relaxing vacation!
