In a shocking move, the Home Office has announced that it plans to house 500 people on a cruise ship, the Bibby Stockholm, off the coast of Portland, in Dorset. This is not a drill.
Sources have revealed that the ship will be fitted with all mod cons, including wifi and a swimming pool. However, concerns have been raised about what will happen in the event of rough seas. Will the passengers be expected to swim to safety?
But the real question on everyone’s lips is: who will be living on the Bibby Stockholm? Rumours have been circulating that it will be a mix of asylum seekers and reality TV stars.
In an exclusive interview, a spokesperson for the Home Office refused to confirm or deny this, but did say: “We believe that living on a cruise ship will be an exciting opportunity for those involved. Who wouldn’t want to spend their days lounging by the pool and their nights singing karaoke?”
Critics have slammed the move, calling it “absurd” and “a waste of taxpayer’s money”. But we say: why not embrace the madness? We can’t wait to see the Bibby Stockholm sailing into Portland harbour, filled to the brim with eccentric characters.
So, will you be booking a ticket on the Bibby Stockholm anytime soon? We know we will be.
