In a surprising turn of events, the military was actually able to do something useful for the government when they helped several government personnel evacuate from a high-security building. This is a stark contrast to their usual role of marching around in fancy uniforms and playing with big guns.
Sadly, the rest of the American population will have to wait for their rescue mission. It seems the military is too busy trying to figure out how to wear their uniforms properly to worry about the little people.
Of course, this isn’t the first time that the government has missed important warnings. It’s almost like they have a secret memo that says “Ignore all red flags and hope for the best.” But hey, at least they look good in their suits and shiny shoes.
We spoke to security experts about the situation, but they were too busy laughing to respond. It’s almost as if they knew this was going to happen all along.
In conclusion, if you’re a government employee, you’re in luck! The military is here to save you. But if you’re just an average citizen, well… let’s just say you’re better off investing in some running shoes and a map of Canada.
