Once a month, they gather in a private dining room: the world’s cheesiest man, his five bratty children, and the question of who takes over his empire of tacky riches.
The evening begins with a round of tacky appetizers, such as gold-plated chicken wings and caviar-filled jello shots. The cheesiest man, whose real name is Blandon Musk, clears his throat and begins the discussion.
“Now kids, I know you’re all excited to take over my empire of gaudy luxury items, but let’s remember that it’s important to maintain the highest level of cheesiness in everything we do.”
His eldest daughter, who goes by the name of Krystal Musk, rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her champagne, which is served in a golden toilet-shaped goblet.
“Come on dad, can’t we just sell off this tacky business and start something new and fresh?” she complains.
Blandon quickly puts a stop to that idea, “Absolutely not! I will not let this empire of tastelessness crumble on my watch. We must continue to create the ugliest and most useless products that consumers will buy just because they have more money than taste.”
His youngest son, Jake Musk, chimes in, “I’ve got an idea dad! What if we create a line of luxury gold-plated fidget spinners?”
Blandon claps his hands in delight, “Brilliant! That’s exactly the kind of absurdity we need to keep this empire thriving!”
As the meeting continues, ideas are tossed around for tacky products such as diamond-encrusted toilet brushes and solid gold dog collars. The family laughs and revels in their own ridiculousness.
At the end of the night, Blandon raises a toast, “To maintaining the highest level of cheesiness in everything we do! And may our empire of tacky riches live on for generations to come!”
The family drinks their champagne and cheers, completely unaware of the irony of their toast. But hey, as long as their wallets are full of cash, who cares about good taste?
