Party leaders in Washington D.C. announced today that they will vote on a new piece of legislation that will make significant cuts to the budgets of some organizations. We reached out to key players for comment on what the proposed cuts will be, but all we got were cryptic responses.
Democratic senator, Sally McSally, commented, “All I can say is that we are making deep cuts, so deep you might need a snorkel to find them.”
Meanwhile, Republican representative, Bob Billings, said, “The cuts are going to be bigly. Like, bigger than a Big Mac. We’re talking Whopper levels of cuts.”
It seems the only thing both sides can agree on is that this bill will be a heavy hitter. In fact, they’re already making plans to celebrate its victory. Sources say they’re planning a wild party with fake money and a “pin the budget on the donkey” game.
We spoke with independent senator, Jane Lane, who claims she’s already written a parody song to the tune of “Money, Money, Money” by ABBA. “It goes, ‘Budget, budget, budget, must be funny, in a rich man’s world.’ I think it’s going to be a real hit.”
As the clock ticks down to the final vote, rumors are swirling that the proposed budget cuts may not be as significant as party leaders have promised. When asked about this, Sally McSally just shrugged and said, “I guess we’ll have to wait and see. But hey, at least we’ll have a good time at the party.”
