In a shocking revelation, a woman known only by the pseudonym “Ms. Louboutin” took the stand in front of a federal jury to discuss an alleged assault that took place in a New York department store back in the 1990s. Ms. Louboutin claims the incident left her scarred for decades to come…and not just emotionally.
According to Ms. Louboutin, she was innocently browsing the shoe section of the store when a man known as “Mr. Sketchy” approached her. He offered to help her find the perfect pair of stilettos, but before she knew it, he had pinned her against a shelf and forcibly kissed her.
“That was bad enough,” Ms. Louboutin recounted. “But then he started rubbing his hands all over my Manolos.”
Ms. Louboutin claims that, in the years since the alleged assault, she has developed a severe aversion to all department stores and a deep mistrust of anyone wearing Sketchers. She is seeking damages for the emotional and physical pain caused by the incident, as well as compensation for the ruined pair of shoes.
Mr. Sketchy, for his part, denies all allegations and insists that he was merely attempting to help Ms. Louboutin find the perfect footwear. His defense team has suggested that Ms. Louboutin may have been under the influence of too many Pumpkin Spice Lattes at the time of the incident.
The trial is still ongoing, but we can’t help but wonder: where were Carrie Bradshaw and the girls when all of this was going down?
