Locals fight against building plans that adhere only to decades-old standards
In a shocking turn of events, the sleepy coastal town of Seasideville is up in arms against the Council’s decision to build new apartments using decades-old environmental and planning standards. While some might consider this a reasonable approach to development, the town’s residents are adamant that it will destroy their idyllic way of life, and possibly even summon a horde of zombies from the nearby graveyard.
“Look, we’re not against progress,” insists local activist, Lara Croft. “We just want it done properly. What’s the point of living in this beautiful place if we’re going to turn it into a concrete jungle?”
Others are less subtle in their objections. Bob Marley, who owns a local surf shop, warns that the new development will “create a vortex of bad vibrations that will attract sharks and other sea monsters.”
And Ben Harper, a retired fisherman, claims that the construction will “disturb the spirits of our ancestors, who have been resting peacefully for centuries.”
Meanwhile, Mayor John Smith denies any wrongdoing, insisting that the Council is following standard procedures. “These plans have been in the pipeline for years,” he says. “We’re talking about a few buildings, not the end of the world.”
However, some residents are convinced that it is a sign of the apocalypse. “I’ve seen this before,” says Ned Flanders, a local doomsday prepper. “It’s like in that movie where they build a mall on a sacred burial ground and all the undead rise up to get their revenge.”
At press time, construction workers had begun erecting a fence around a nearby patch of bushland, reportedly causing panic among the townsfolk. Whether this is a prelude to the end of the world, or just another case of bureaucratic bungling, remains to be seen.
