In some shocking news, it has been revealed that car buyers are paying way more than they should be. We’re talking 8.8% more than what the manufacturer actually suggests. It’s like going to buy a hot dog and paying extra for the bun!
We talked to a car salesman, who we’ll call Slimy Steve, to get his thoughts on the matter. “Listen, these buyers come in thinking they know everything about the car industry just because they Googled ‘car prices’,” he scoffed. “But I’ll let you in on a little secret, folks. We mark up the prices because it’s fun. It’s like a game of how much can we get these suckers to pay.”
But it’s not just Slimy Steve who’s laughing all the way to the bank. The whole industry is in on it. We spoke to a spokesperson for the National Association of Car Dealers, who we’ll call Scheming Susan. “Well, of course we’re charging more than the MSRP. It’s just basic economics. Supply and demand,” she said with a smirk. “Plus, have you seen the new heated seats? Those babies are worth an extra few thousand dollars, if you ask me.”
But it’s not all bad news. According to our calculations, if you bring a clown to the dealership with you, you’ll get at least a 10% discount. We don’t know why, but it just works. So, next time you’re in the market for a new set of wheels, throw on some oversized shoes and a red nose and watch the savings roll in. Your wallet (and inner child) will thank you.
