Hot Flashes, Wildfires, Car Washes and Dry Martinis highlight how cocktails are linked to climate change.
Sipping on a Dry Martini at the local bar has never been more frightful. With heatwaves soaring to 110 degrees and wildfires rampaging across the state, bartenders are reporting more customers seeking refuge in their cool establishments.
“Customers are coming in here just to cool off,” said a bartender named Barty McBarface. “In fact, we had to start offering free ice water just to keep up with the demand.”
But this trend of seeking shelter from extreme weather patterns is also having an impact on the environment. According to a report by scientists at the Car Wash Institute, the increased use of AC units and refrigeration systems is causing a rise in energy consumption, which in turn is accelerating climate change.
“We’re in a vicious cycle,” said scientist Dr. Washie McWashface. “People seek shelter from the heat and end up contributing to the very problem they’re trying to avoid.”
Meanwhile, floods caused by rising sea levels have led to a boom in car wash businesses. “Our business has never been busier,” said car wash owner, Daryl McWashface. “People need their cars cleaned after a flood, and with more and more floods happening, we’re raking it in!”
But while car washes may be profiting off of climate change, farmers are feeling the effects of droughts.
“Our crops are withering away in the hot sun,” said farmer Joe McFarmerface. “We need rain badly, but all we’re getting are wildfires.”
It seems like climate change is affecting everything from our drinking habits to our cars to our crops. So when someone asks if you want another drink, you might want to think twice before ordering a dry martini. It’s not just your liver that’s at stake – it’s the planet.
