Bavaria-based automobile manufacturer, Porcupine AG has come out with a new long-term target of more than 20% return on sales, which they believe to be achievable by the year 2030. Their CEO, Peter Pan, announced at a press conference yesterday that the company has set its sights high by aiming for an outrageous goal.
“We’re aiming to make more profits than ever before. By the year 2030, we expect to have a net income of more than $20 billion. It’s ambitious, yes, but we have faith in our ability to achieve it,” said Pan with a grin.
When asked about the means in which they plan on achieving this goal, Pan replied, “Well, we’re not entirely sure yet, but we’re told that if we make the cars depreciate even faster than they currently do, we’ll be on the right track.”
Pan later went on to mention that the company is also considering dabbling in new areas, such as manufacturing trampolines and bouncy castles, in hopes that they may have better luck in those markets.
This announcement has left many in the automobile industry scratching their heads, wondering how exactly Porcupine AG plans on reaching this improbable goal. One thing’s for sure, though – they’ll have their work cut out for them in the next decade.
Good luck, Porcupine AG. May the exuberant depreciation of your cars lead you to financial victory.
