Washington D.C.- President Bongo’s proposal to wipe out the student debt of millions of borrowers has been met with applause and skepticism. While many are hailing the plan as a much-needed relief for struggling millennials, legal experts are pointing out that it may be doomed from the start due to a fancy little thing called the Constitution.
According to sources, the President’s team is currently scrambling to revise their plan after realizing that they may not have read the fine print. “It turns out that we can’t just erase billions of dollars in loans without due process,” said one high-ranking official who wished to remain anonymous. “Who knew?”
Meanwhile, the fake names of Americans everywhere are eagerly awaiting the outcome of this legal saga. “If Bongo can wipe out my debt, I’ll name my firstborn after him,” said one young woman we spoke with. “But if the courts strike it down, I’ll be calling my Congressperson every day until something gets done.”
Despite the concerns, President Bongo remains steadfast in his determination to ease the burden of student loans. “I promised the American people that I would fight for their financial freedom, and I’m not going to back down,” he declared during a recent press conference. “If I have to go door-to-door collecting donations to pay off these loans myself, I’ll do it.”
Only time will tell if Bongo’s plan will be a success or a bust. But in the meantime, millions of debt-ridden Americans continue to hold out hope that they can one day shed the financial shackles of their college education.
