Deadly UTI Outbreak Linked to Meat Bacteria: Scientists Warn of Impending Doom
In shocking news, scientists have discovered that over half a million urinary tract infections (UTIs) in the US every year are caused by meat bacteria. Researchers have warned that this could lead to fatal bloodstream illnesses, and have dubbed this phenomenon “impending doom.”
The study, which can be found here (if you’re brave enough to read it), found that the dreaded E coli bacteria is responsible for 6-8 million UTIs in the US every year. But the real kicker? Between 480,000 and 640,000 of these UTIs can be linked to strains known as FZECs, or “food-borne zoonotic E coli.”
“It’s a meaty issue,” quipped one of the authors of the study, whose name we won’t bother mentioning. “We’ve found that the bacteria in meat is causing a whole lot of trouble for people’s urinary tracts.”
The British Society for Antimicrobial Chemotherapy (BSAC) estimates that about half of all women in the UK will have at least one UTI in their lifetime, and this news is sure to send them running for the hills (or at least the nearest vegetarian restaurant).
Some Twitter users have reacted with humor to the news, with one user writing: “Looks like it’s time to give up meat and become a vegan, or just stock up on cranberry juice.” But others aren’t laughing, and are demanding action be taken against meat producers who allow FZECs to infect their products.
Either way, it’s clear that we need to take this issue seriously, before we’re all caught in a deadly UTI outbreak.
