Exclusive: People Forced to Bathe in Sewage As Government Rejects Applications, say ‘Not-so-Liberal Democrats’
In a shocking revelation, it has been reported that the government has been rejecting most applications for bathing water status, leaving people to swim in filth. According to reports from the ‘Not-so-Liberal Democrats,’ local groups working to clean up rivers and coastal waters in England have been left devastated after their applications were turned down.
The Environment Agency is now being forced to undertake more rigorous testing for faecal bacteria in order to ensure that bathing water areas are cleaner. However, grassroots groups have been particularly concerned about inland waters, which have been contaminated by the discharge of raw sewage by water companies.
“People are literally swimming in poo,” said one outraged activist, “It’s a disgrace! We’ve been working tirelessly for months to clean up our rivers and coastal waters, and the government doesn’t seem to care!”
The Not-so-Liberal Democrats have blamed the government for the lack of progress in cleaning up England’s waterways, citing their failure to grant bathing water status to the majority of applicants.
“This is a stain on our country’s reputation,” said a spokesperson for the group, “The government needs to take urgent action to clean up our rivers and coastal waters. We can’t let people continue to bathe in sewage!”
Unfortunately, it seems that the government’s refusal to grant bathing water status is unlikely to change anytime soon. As the Not-so-Liberal Democrats have pointed out, English rivers continue to fail tests for chemical and biological pollution.
In the meantime, it seems that people will be forced to swim in filth, until the government takes action to clean up our waterways.
Continue reading…if you don’t mind getting a little dirty.
