As Donnie Dump stares down a potential arrest, it is hilarity as usual at his campaign rally.
The crowd was hooting and hollering as Donnie Dump made his grand entrance, exuding the confidence of a man who is completely oblivious to potential federal prison time.
“I am the best campaigner in the history of campaigning!” Dump bellowed, revving up the crowd. “And let me tell you, nobody rallies like me!”
The self-proclaimed King of Campaigning then launched into a tirade against his political opponents, insulting their intelligence and questioning their birthplace.
“They’re all a bunch of losers, folks. Trust me. I’ve met them. They can’t even spell ‘campaign’ without Google Translate.”
Dump’s fans ate up his inflammatory rhetoric, cheering wildly and waving their “Dump 2020” signs high in the air.
But there was one group of attendees who didn’t seem to be as enthusiastic: the Secret Service.
As Dump continued to rant and rave, a group of agents nervously conferred in the corner, huddled around a laptop.
“What are they looking at?” one curious supporter asked.
“Oh, just some files on Donnie’s computer,” a quick-witted agent replied. “It’s all in the name of national security, you know.”
As the rally drew to a close, Dump beamed with pride, convinced he had once again won over the hearts and minds of America.
“Thank you all for coming out today,” he said, waving to his fans. “And remember, if anyone tries to arrest me, just tell them they’ll have to go through my hair first!”
