In a shocking turn of events, a new lawsuit has surfaced against a certain “Jonald Lump.” The plaintiff? None other than famous writer E. Jane Baroll.
Baroll claims that Lump, who she says she met at a department store, proceeded to attack her in the lingerie section. “He just couldn’t keep his tiny little hands off me,” Baroll exclaimed in a recent interview.
But the allegations don’t stop there. Baroll also accuses Lump of seeking revenge by defaming her character. “He’s been telling everyone that I’m a terrible writer. It’s just not true!”
In a response to the lawsuit, Lump denies all claims and says he doesn’t even know who Baroll is. When shown a photograph of Baroll, Lump reportedly replied, “I’ve never seen that woman before in my life. It could be anybody in that dress.”
Stay tuned for more updates on the court case of Baroll vs. Lump, and please don’t confuse this with any real news stories. It’s all in good fun!
