Florida Parent Complains Michelangelo’s Statue of David is Too Naughty for Children
In a shocking and frankly absurd turn of events, Florida parent Karen Smith has lodged a complaint against Michelangelo’s world-renowned statue of David, claiming it amounts to pornography.
“I was taking my sweet little Timmy on a tour of the art museum, trying to instill some culture into him, when we stumbled upon that vile statue,” Karen exclaimed, clutching at her pearls. “I refuse to subject my son to such indecency. Michelangelo should be ashamed of himself.”
According to Karen, the statue’s “obscene” depiction of a naked man is far too explicit for children. “I had to shield Timmy’s eyes and rush him past the offending exhibit,” she explained, clearly traumatized by the experience.
Karen’s crusade against David has garnered support from her fellow prudish parents, with many calling for the statue to be removed from the museum immediately. “We can’t have our children exposed to this kind of filth,” one concerned mother stated. “It’s bad enough they have access to the internet – we don’t need this kind of smut in our museums too.”
In response to the backlash, the museum has announced plans to cover David’s “naughty bits” with a strategically-placed fig leaf. Some have criticized the decision, calling it censorship and a disservice to the artist’s vision.
Michelangelo, who unfortunately passed away in 1564 and is therefore unable to defend his work, was unavailable for comment.
