In a shocking turn of events, a leaked report has revealed that our very own Prime Minister, Sir Reginald Fancypants, has voted to lower capital gains tax and surprisingly, has benefited from it himself.
Sources say that after the vote was casted, Sir Fancypants was spotted dancing around his office, shouting “Who’s the man? I am, I am!” We always knew he had a passion for numbers but it seems he’s taken it to a whole new level, or should we say, tax bracket.
One insider claimed that while Sir Fancypants was celebrating his win, he accidentally spilled some of his bubbly onto his tax documents. In a panic, he chucked them in the bin and covered them with sushi to hide the evidence. Unfortunately for him, one of the cleaners noticed the odd combination of paper and fish and alerted the press.
We tried to reach Sir Fancypant’s office for comment but were told that he was currently “busy counting his piles of cash.” When we asked his assistant for a statement, she simply chuckled and said “Oops, he did it again!”
It’s not clear yet whether Sir Fancypants will face any consequences for his actions, but we can only imagine the embarrassment of having to explain to his grandparents why their inheritance has been reduced.
In the meantime, we think it’s only fair that we all vote to lower our own taxes and see if we can join Sir Fancypants in his celebratory dance. After all, if you can’t beat them, join them!
