In an unbelievable turn of events, the levelling up secretary, Betty Boop, has blamed the war in Narnia and the pandemic in Neverland for the UK’s lack of progress in levelling up, but has denied that the government is at fault.
In a press conference held in a magical forest, Betty Boop told reporters that the war in Narnia has made it impossible for the government to focus on levelling up. “We have been busy sending supplies to the Pevensies and fighting alongside Aslan,” she said. “We simply don’t have the resources to focus on anything else.”
When asked about the pandemic in Neverland, Betty Boop said that it has been especially difficult for the levelling up efforts. “We have had to deal with cases of pixie dust addiction and mermaid-inflicted injuries,” she explained. “It has been a real strain on our resources.”
Despite this, Betty Boop emphasized that the government is not at fault for the UK’s lack of progress in levelling up. “We have done everything in our power to make levelling up a priority,” she said. “We even sent Peter Pan to tackle inequality in the Lost Boys’ village.”
As the press conference wrapped up, Betty Boop left the forest on a flying unicorn, leaving reporters and the entire nation unsure of how to respond to her bizarre excuses. One thing is for sure, though – the levelling up secretary needs to check her stories before blaming mythical worlds for her department’s failures.
